


Planetary Alignment

by ironspydr, UnfortunatelySux



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Crack?, Fluff, Kinda ends abruptly sry abt that lads, M/M, Moon!Jeremy, Multi, Pluto!Evan, Polyamory, Sun!Michael, Uranus!Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-04 22:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16798036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironspydr/pseuds/ironspydr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelySux/pseuds/UnfortunatelySux
Summary: A random oneshot of our poly au mixed with Arieryn's Celestial kings au. A.k.a more random shit by us two dumbasses.





	Planetary Alignment

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to Arieryn for the Celestial kings AU!

Jeremy tapped his foot. “I’m just saying, the sub zone should be bigger.”

Evan shrugged. “It’s literally bigger than Neptune, you know.”

Jeremy narrowed his eyes. “Bigger.”

Michael snorted. “There’s no room. It would fuck up that stars gravity if it were any bigger.”

Jared nodded. “Unless we moved it.”

Evan frowned. “No moving. It took forever to pick that spot.”

“Sorry, Jerm,” Michael hummed. “But that’s as big as it can get for now. You two have plenty of space, anyway.”

Jeremy pouted. “But we deserve a bigger one!”

“Babe, we physically can’t. You deserve the universe, yes, but also I don’t want things to explode.”

Evan sighed. “I’m cold.”

“You’re always cold, we’re not talking about that right now.” Jeremy cleared his throat. “What if I said we _need_ a bigger space?”

Michael quirked an eyebrow, pulling Evan closer to warm him. “And why’s that?”

Jeremy huffed. “Because we’re your favorites!”

Jared snorted. “Jerm. You know that doesn’t count.”

Jeremy grumbled. 

Evan leaned against Michael comfortably. “Why can’t you just shrink to your relevant size? That’ll make it seem bigger.”

Jeremy groaned. “So much work!”

Michael rolled his eyes, still smiling. “It’s really not.”

“So much effort!”

Jared ruffle his hair. “We believe in you. You can do it.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “I can’t get kisses like that though.”

“Evan can kiss you.”

“He’s too small!”

“Hey!” Evan complained. “At least I have my own orbit!”

“You share it with billions of comets and space debris.”

“ _Hey!_ ”

Michael hummed. “Boys, quit teasing.”

“He’s making me sad,” Evan complained. 

Michael hugged him, kissing his forehead. “He’s just pouty because he’s not getting his way.”

“He’s always pouty.”

“Not _always_ ,” Jared argued. “Just most times.”

Jeremy frowned. “I just wanna be loved.”

“We all love you very much, Jerm.”

“Yeah right.”

“Aw,” Michael cooed, pulling Evan over so he could hug both of them. Jared pressed himself into the hug as well, sandwiching Jeremy between them.

Jeremy wasn’t having it. Once he was set in his pouting, it was hard to get him to cheer up. He huffed and shrank down so they couldn’t hug him. 

“Jeremy,” Michael hummed. “You know we love you. C’mon.”

Jeremy sat on the floor and crossed his arms. 

Michael picked him up.

Jeremy looked the other way.

Michael used a finger to gently turn his head to face him. “Jerm. We love you.”

Jeremy looked up at him with wider eyes. He hummed. 

Michael poked his belly. “Cutie. I love you.”

Jeremy giggled. “I love you.” 

Now it was Evan’s turn to pout. “I like attention too.”

Jared was already pulling him close, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind and propping his chin on the boy’s shoulder. “You can have attention too, babe.”

Evan smiled, leaning back against him. “I’m still cold.”

Jared hummed, smiling. “D’ya wanna shrink down like Jerm so I can hold you and warm you up?”

“You’d do that?” Evan squeaked. 

“Of course, sweetie.”

“Now?”

“Well. You’re cold right now, so, yes.”

“Oh!” Evan made sure he was standing where he could be seen if they dropped him, and shrunk down to his size relative to Michael. He was about half the size of Jeremy, a little smaller. 

Jared smiled, picking him up as Michael had Jeremy. “So small. So sweet. If we were human I would make a vore joke. They love vore jokes.”

Evan huffed. “I don’t like vore jokes. You wouldn’t eat a planet.” He looked down at himself. “D-Dwarf planet.”

Jared hummed. “No, but I would love a dwarf planet.”

“Would you?” Evan sat down in Jared’s hand. 

“I would. In fact, I already do.”

“Aw,” Evan cooed. “Can we go down to earth?”

Jared idly watched Michael play with little Jeremy by poking at his belly again. “Any specific reason why?”

Evan watched Jeremy giggle. “Just wanna visit. See what’s going on.”

Jared nodded. “Sure, but you’ll have to get people sized.”

“Make Jeremy do it first.”

Jared hummed, watching Michael gently pet Jeremy with a single finger. “Might be a minute.”

Evan smiled. “I know.”

Jared’s lips quirked. He shifted a bit closer to Michael so that Evan could pick up some more excess heat.

Evan hummed, basking in any heat that was warmer than his usual temperature. 

Michael smiled, cradling little Jeremy close.

Jeremy giggled at him. 

Michael cooed. “Cute.”

“It’s my job!”

Jared laughed. “I thought tides was your job?”

“Tides are a side effect of how cute I am.”

Michael nodded. “Sounds accurate.”

Evan pouted in Jared’s hand. 

Jared smiled at him, lifting his hand up towards Michael’s hair. “Wanna nap in Mikey’s hair?”

Evan crawled out into Michael’s hair. “That’s ideal.”

Michael hummed. “You two really like my hair, huh?”

Jeremy nodded. “It’s really soft, Mike.”

“Do you want up there too?”

Jeremy nodded again. “Very much so.”

“You have to promise to be nice to Evan first.”

“What!”

“You heard me. Promise.”

“Fine, I promise.”

Evan was sad. “Why do you have to force him to be nice to me?”

Jared hummed. “Because he’s an attention whore, sweetie. He’s rude when we’re around.”

Jeremy pouted. “I like attention!”

“Well so do I!” Evan argued. “I never get attention! I’m not even a planet anymore!”

Michael poked Jeremy’s belly one more time. “We’re working on always being nice to _all_ of our boyfriends, right, Jeremy?”

Jeremy was still pouting. He didn’t answer Michael. “I’m not a planet either.”

“Boys, this is exactly the situation we want to avoid.”

“I just wanted to visit the humans,” Evan muttered. 

Jeremy ignored him. “He started it!”

Michael shot him a look. “And you’re continuing it!”

“It’s a new moon!” Jeremy complained. 

Michael rolled his eyes, lifting his hand up to his hair. “Go make up. But don’t fuck in my hair.”

“That was one time,” Jeremy mumbled, crawling towards Evan. 

Michael just hummed.

Small whispering came from Michael’s hair. 

Michael just scooted closer to Jared, leaning into his side. 

The whispering turned into giggling. 

“Y’all better not have dicks out up there.”

“No!” Jeremy said. “No dicks!”

Michael turned to Jared. “Can you check? Tiny nut is hard to get out when you don't own or need to shower.”

Jared snorted, leaning up to glance and see what the two of them were doing.

Evan was seated essentially in Jeremy’s lap, and the two were smiling happily. 

“I think it’s fine,” Jared assured. “It’s like really big lice.”

“I’m not a louse!” Jeremy cried. “I’m the moon!”

“Dusty lice.”

Evan reached into his pocket and threw a tiny ice cube at Jared. “No!”

It didn’t make it very far. 

“Why do you have ice?”

“I’m made of ice.”

“Doesn’t add up to magic ice cube pockets but fair enough.”

“It’s my throwing ice.”

“It’s gonna melt on my head,” Michael informed.

“Nah, it’s special.”

“Whatevs. You two gonna nap? We can go visit earth after you wake up.”

“Nap time!” Jeremy decided. 

“‘Kay. Don’t sleep too long.”

Evan threw another ice cube. 

“Thanks.”

“Shh, nap time.”

Michael just chuckled, once again leaning into Jared’s side.

————-

The nap didn’t last long, and soon Evan and Jeremy were wide awake. 

Michael sat up when he felt movement. “You guys up?”

Jeremy tugged on his hair. “Yep!”

Michael reached up to extract the pair of them from his tangle of hair. “Did you have a nice nap?”

Evan nodded. “Of course.”

“Good,” Jared hummed, taking the two from Michael and gently placing them down between them. “Big boy time.”

The two of them sighed and were soon the same size as Michael and Jared. 

Evan cleared his throat. “Humans?”

Jared snorted. “Yeah? What about them?”

“Visiting time?” Evan kissed Jared’s cheek. 

Jared smiled. “Yeah. Where do you wanna go?”

“A park?”

Jeremy laughed. “He wants to see the trees.”

Michael hummed. “Which park? A national one?”

“Any park,” Evan said. 

“Well alright. We’ll choose a random one then, yeah?”

“As long as Jared stops asking humans what’s the seventh planet from the sun just so he can hear it and laugh, I’m good with that,” Jeremy said. 

Jared scoffed. “What! No fair! If that’s the case, Evan has to stop getting us to ask people if they think he should qualify as a planet!”

Jeremy huffed. “But he’s so cute when they say yes!”

“I’m right here,” Evan mumbled. 

Michael waved his hand. “We’re already here.”

Evan and Jeremy blinked. 

“Damn, Mike, no warning?” Jeremy asked. 

“You guys were too busy talking.”

“It’s not my fault Uranus is having troubles not picking fights.”

Evan coughed. “Can we not do this?”

Jared giggled. “Fine. We’re in tree land now, anyway.”

“I like trees.”

“We know, honey.”

“Love to have them someday.”

“If you try, anything is possible.”

Evan blinked. “Jared, I’m Pluto.”

Jared just waved his hand dismissively. 

“Rude.”

Jeremy sighed and pulled Evan along toward some taller trees. 

Michael and Jared followed behind them.

“Y’know, I’m glad we have a way to come down to Earth. Jared and I probably would never have seen these things otherwise.” Evan looked up at the wind blowing the leaves on the treetops. 

“That would be sad,” Jared agreed. “Good thing the Sun and the Moon are gay.”

“Is it gay if we’re technically genderless?” Jeremy posed. 

“Eh,” Jared shrugged it off. “Close enough.”

“Anyway, who wants to see me climb a tree?” Evan asked. 

“You’re gonna climb it anyway, babe.”

“I am!”

Michael chuckled. “Go on then.”

Evan was already at it. 

Jeremy sighed. “For a small guy, he really likes being active.”

Jared nodded. “He really does.”

“It’s cute. He’s cute.”

Michael and Jared both nodded in agreement. 

The four boys were happy they’d somehow ended up where they were in that moment. They wouldn't have things any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> If we open anons back up on the UnfortunatelyDragon blog do u guys promise 2 behave


End file.
